Fear and loathing in the dentist's chair, part 1

Like many people of my generation, I suspect, I am petrified of the dentist. This is because, when I was a child in the 1960s and 70s, dentists were sadistic bastards.

I have vivid memories of being held down in the chair by one monster dressed all in green, his face hidden behind a green mask, while another green monster pressed the gas mask to my face. This was to remove my milk teeth so the adult teeth would grow in properly.

On one occasion during my teens, the dentist used a new treatment, called "Twighlight treatment", which gave me an out-of-body experience. Actually, it was fascinating looking over the dentist's shoulder and watching as he gave me a filling. It wasn't so funny watching three people shaking me and shouting at me to wake up.

Despite my fear, I have always managed to attend regular check-ups. I've always done whatever I've been told to look after my teeth. However, I have an inherited condition which (without going into detail) means that I'm basically fighting a losing battle.

I had been seeing a very nice dentist who understood my fears as well as my mouth and was very patient and reasuring. But her surgery is quite far away from both my home and work so 10 days ago, being due a regular check-up, I decided to register with a dentist nearer home.

Being well aware that I needed treatment, I was expecting an initial check-up and perhaps a discussion of my dental history and needs before making a follow-up appointment.

This is what happened:

[Chris walks, trembling slightly, into the surgery.]
Dentist: "Take a seat there."
[Chris sits on the dentist's chair.]
[Dentist tips the chair so patient's head is lower than her feet.]
Chris: [Gripping the sides of the chair in fear of slipping off head-first] "I should warn you, I'm a very nervous patient."
[Dentist says nothing.]
Chris: "I have a loose tooth at the back, which I know will have to come out soon. I've been seeing [a specialist] who has helped me hold on to it for as long as possible."
Dentist: [Feeling the said wobbly tooth] "Yes, that tooth is very loose."
[Dentist gives Chris an injection.]
Chris: [Trembling] "Mmmble mmbble squeak."
Dentist: "Hold still. I have to take this tooth out."
[Chris starts to cry like a scared little girl.]
Dentist's assistant: "Don't worry, she's very good at this."
[Dentist extracts tooth, shoves cotton pad into the hole, gives Chris a leaflet about tooth extraction.]
Dentist: "Make a follow-up appointment. Make it a 15-minute appointment."
[Chris makes the appointment and runs away.]

This woman's lack of empathy, compassion or even good manners has set me back more than 40 years.